Story time...I need advice - Sportbike Addicts

CORNBREAD · 06-05-2009, 11:11 PM

So i'm divorced since 3 months ago. About 6 weeks ago I started talking to one of my co-workers and we hit it off instantly. Problem is she has been with her boyfriend for 5 years. I've known this girl for 4 years and although I thought she was attractive I NEVER EVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED I WOULD FALL FOR HER!

The last 5 weeks we have been together 24/7. If not physically (we haven't slept with eachother yet) then by phone, cell phone and even text messaging at work!

This is where i'm fucked. Yesterday she left for Europe w/ her man for 2 weeks to go on vacation. I knew from the beginning that this was all going down but yesterday as we were saying goodbye it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't eaten in 2 days, my place is a pigstye. I havent showered and besides going to Target I havent left my place. I'm not afraid to admit that i'm in love with her and am crushed shes gone for 2 weeks. There is no way she can call me since she is with her boyfriend. She told me yesterday she loves me before she left. We have been talking about **gasp** marriage and kids! I never gave her an ultimatium as to leave her boyfriend and i never said don't go on the trip. I feel it's too early and if you tell someone to choose between somone they are stable with for 5 years or a 5 week romance usually they choose the stable one. Guys I can't stop thinking about her. I'm afraid she will forget what we had and realize during her european trip that she loves her boyfriend! I never would have waited for someone who has a boyfriend but this one is worth it. She was even texting me from his place on weekends telling me she misses me and loves me.

On Wednesday she called me crying telling me she told her mom that she is seeing me! That's a powermove considering they are old-fashioned Polish immigrants who are devout catholics. They've known her boyfriend for 5 years and it took her mom 2 years to warm up to a non pole. (He's Portuguse).

I have been feeling like a 16 year old girl in love for the 1st time and i'm not afraid to admit it. If this was only about sex i wouldn't care and wouldn't even waste my time and emotions but damn it it's more than that. The reason i'm posting this here is because no one in my real life knows because i'm embarrased to tell them i'm waiting out a relationship.

What should i do? Will she forget what we have? How do i keep myself busy and not think about this? Her image and just talking/kissing/holding her are right in front of me and won't go way. The mind is a powerful thing man!

SPRHK · 06-05-2009, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CORNBREAD

So i'm divorced since 3 months ago. About 6 weeks ago I started talking to one of my co-workers and we hit it off instantly. Problem is she has been with her boyfriend for 5 years. I've known this girl for 4 years and although I thought she was attractive I NEVER EVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED I WOULD FALL FOR HER!

The last 5 weeks we have been together 24/7. If not physically (we haven't slept with eachother yet) then by phone, cell phone and even text messaging at work!

This is where i'm fucked. Yesterday she left for Europe w/ her man for 2 weeks to go on vacation. I knew from the beginning that this was all going down but yesterday as we were saying goodbye it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't eaten in 2 days, my place is a pigstye. I havent showered and besides going to Target I havent left my place. I'm not afraid to admit that i'm in love with her and am crushed shes gone for 2 weeks. There is no way she can call me since she is with her boyfriend. She told me yesterday she loves me before she left. We have been talking about **gasp** marriage and kids! I never gave her an ultimatium as to leave her boyfriend and i never said don't go on the trip. I feel it's too early and if you tell someone to choose between somone they are stable with for 5 years or a 5 week romance usually they choose the stable one. Guys I can't stop thinking about her. I'm afraid she will forget what we had and realize during her european trip that she loves her boyfriend! I never would have waited for someone who has a boyfriend but this one is worth it. She was even texting me from his place on weekends telling me she misses me and loves me.

On Wednesday she called me crying telling me she told her mom that she is seeing me! That's a powermove considering they are old-fashioned Polish immigrants who are devout catholics. They've known her boyfriend for 5 years and it took her mom 2 years to warm up to a non pole. (He's Portuguse).

I have been feeling like a 16 year old girl in love for the 1st time and i'm not afraid to admit it. If this was only about sex i wouldn't care and wouldn't even waste my time and emotions but damn it it's more than that. The reason i'm posting this here is because no one in my real life knows because i'm embarrased to tell them i'm waiting out a relationship.

What should i do? Will she forget what we have? How do i keep myself busy and not think about this? Her image and just talking/kissing/holding her are right in front of me and won't go way. The mind is a powerful thing man!

you are right. What are you thinking??? You have only been seeing her how long???? Marrage & kids???? Back the fuck up, put the brakes on and put real thought into what the hell you are thinking!! I am not saying she isnt the one, but you just got out of one marrage, cool your jets. If it is right, ease into it. and you are right, you sound like a sixteen year old girl ........

**John712** · 06-06-2009, 12:30 AM

Put it this way. If she's digging you while she is with someone for 5 years, and if she were to leave him for you, what makes you think she wont have another 5 year itch in 5 years.? I say let the ink fully dry on the divorce papers. take 3 steps back to take 1 step forward.

CORNBREAD · 06-06-2009, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John217

Put it this way. If she's digging you while she is with someone for 5 years, and if she were to leave him for you, what makes you think she wont have another 5 year itch in 5 years.? I say let the ink fully dry on the divorce papers. take 3 steps back to take 1 step forward.

Good point. One thing is she never cheated on him until with me. Even before we became intimate we would talk about our relationships, my divorce, and relationships in general. She would always tell me how good it felt not cheating on eachother etc. Also when we 1st kissed the poor girl almost had a panic attack and literally started crying. Maybe i watch too many movies and think i'm in a movie with this one. The 5 year itch thoery does make sense but like i said, from talking to her for 4 years and knowing how religious and faithful she was towards him, hopefully i just came into her life and she needed someone different. Another thing is this is her 1st real relationship. She's only in this country 8 years. That's why she feels "stable" with him. She's only used to him and no one else.

The thing that is really fucking my head up is I can't talk to her for 2 more weeks and the image of her with another man in Europe is not a good one!

ffejtable · 06-06-2009, 06:42 AM

Seriously 3 months after your divorce? Sounds like you are on the rebound. You have gotten way ahead of yourself.

As for her... C'mon you REALLY think she is going to tell you how much of a slut she is and how many people she really cheated on?? Maybe she did, maybe she didnt, in the past, but who cares, _RIGHT NOW_ she _IS_being an unfaithful !@^#%^. That deserves no respect.

Quite honestly think about it... 5 years, the relationship has probably gotten a little boring and stale, and we all know how much women crave attention. She probably isn't getting much of that from her BF anymore...

Marker54 · 06-06-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ffejtable

Seriously 3 months after your divorce? Sounds like you are on the rebound. You have gotten way ahead of yourself.

As for her... C'mon you REALLY think she is going to tell you how much of a slut she is and how many people she really cheated on?? Maybe she did, maybe she didnt, in the past, but who cares, _RIGHT NOW_ she _IS_being an unfaithful !@^#%^. That deserves no respect.

Quite honestly think about it... 5 years, the relationship has probably gotten a little boring and stale, and we all know how much women crave attention. She probably isn't getting much of that from her BF anymore...

Corn- Listen to Ffejtable....he said a lot of what I was thinking. Probably a bit harsh, but he's close.

Don't you think for a moment in time that she wouldn't do it to you!! Both males & females that cheat...will always cheat, it's in their blood. And most importantly, they don't have the guts to tell their partner what they are really feeling. I would have said congrats if you explained that she called off the trip, told her BF the truth and you ran off happily ever after...but it didn't happen, she didn't have the guts to pull the trigger...and that's not fair to either you OR HER BF!

I would take the time away from her to clear your head!! Think this one through. You just became a single dude again, go out & meet some ladies, play around a little bit....and then give it some more thought.

CORNBREAD · 06-06-2009, 03:45 PM

I know it looks very bad on her part. But I know for a fact she never cheated on him until me. I have known her for 4 years and all she would talk about was him and they go away at least twice a year. You're right marker, it would have been good if she would have called off the trip but i never told her not to. Maybe i'm being too naive, and too emotional but i can;t forget how i felt being with her the last 5 weeks. Divorce or not it was too real on both our parts. But i will take the advice and step back a bit and see what happens. I have no choise, she's gone for 2 weeks.

As for when she comes back, i will give it a few days, maybe a week, and tell her i can't be #2 anymore. Not after feeling how i feel now and spilling my guts on a fucking motorcycle forum!

Peace,

Lucian

Brian78 · 06-06-2009, 07:22 PM

ask high revs, he probably knows what to do.

sonny · 06-08-2009, 06:24 AM

That's bad news dude. She's with a man for YEARSand talking to you.. Either one of two things:

1) - You're just a friend
2) - You're not just a friend.. There fore she cant be trusted.

Stay away, infact, take the emotional hit and run away.

Best of luck.

sonny · 06-08-2009, 06:25 AM

Ahh. Everyone's response said the same thing!

I try.

***carl_g*** · 06-08-2009, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian78

ask high revs, he probably knows what to do.

LOL!! If he doesn't know the answer I am sure he could look it up for you!

BTW.... you got any pics?

Kennedy · 06-08-2009, 12:25 PM

You just better hope this "Angel" is slick ....this could blow up in your face very quickly.

Hit it and move on. End of story.

CORNBREAD · 06-09-2009, 12:03 AM

Thanks for all the responses guys. 5 years ago I would just hit it and move on. I guess my age (33) and having kids makes me think different and too optimistic. I am really thinking of just taking the emotional hit and moving on. Like I said before if this was just about sex I Know I would have slept with her already.

Oh well, I guess movies are just that, movies.

And Ism409 i have pics but it wouldn't be cool to post them up though. i don't need internet props.

She is a very hot polish woman. 31 years, blonde (duh!) and a body like J.LO.

I have a spec of hope that this will work out like I want it. I'll keep you guys posted and if all goes well post pics of both of us.

Godbless,

-Lucian

**Rev** · 06-09-2009, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CORNBREAD

I know it looks very bad on her part. But I know for a fact she never cheated on him until me. I have known her for 4 years and all she would talk about was him and they go away at least twice a year. You're right marker, it would have been good if she would have called off the trip but i never told her not to. Maybe i'm being too naive, and too emotional but i can;t forget how i felt being with her the last 5 weeks. Divorce or not it was too real on both our parts. But i will take the advice and step back a bit and see what happens. I have no choise, she's gone for 2 weeks.

As for when she comes back, i will give it a few days, maybe a week, and tell her i can't be #2 anymore. Not after feeling how i feel now and spilling my guts on a fucking motorcycle forum!

Peace,

Lucian

You are just making excuses right now. Most of the guys here are right because they can see the full picture as it is. 5 years to be with someone is a long time and who knows what she is thinking. Maybe she just thinks she is in love because it is something new.

John is right, what happens 5 years from when you get together with her. 3 months out of a marriage seems like very short and your just in love of the fact of being in love. Your still young don't think 33 is going to hinder you from going out there and meeting people. So what if you have kids, many single women now were married and have children of their own.

Put yourself in the shoes of the other guy. How would you feel if this girl you were with is messing with some other dude. Who knows if she is feeding you b.s...

One advice if you are not going to quit pursing her is this

1) Tell her to break off with her current boyfriend and you guys start off VERY slow to make sure it is what you both want.

2) Find out if she has hot cousins and introduce them to our fellow single SBA members.

Good Luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian78

ask high revs, he probably knows what to do.

BHAHAHAHA...not sure if anyone else caught this! lol nice bri...

CORNBREAD · 06-09-2009, 11:56 PM

Good points Rev, I really appreciate all the feedback from everyone.. Yes she has cousins, hot ones at that.

Yes I am making excuses for her. I can admit it. I'm hardheaded when I want something really bad. But I am prepared for the worst when she comes back (13 more days!).

After feeling how i felt these past few days i don't think i would be able to feel lower. As dumb as it sounds I have tried to put myself in her boyfriends shoes and it's not fair at all for him. I have really been thinking a l ot today and i'm ready for the worst so i don't think the pain will be all that bad. I'm going to give her a 2 week window when she returns to initiate any talk about our future. If she doesn't then I know i can't keep waiting and being #2. It's not kosher.