Sex!

[Onedwn5up]

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns

[jcblitz]

http://sportbikeaddicts.com/forums/showthread.php?t=490

[Rock712]

This is my Sex song........ http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php

[Commuta_Busa]

Money can't buy love.. but you sure can rent it whenever you want...

Sex kills!...

[liquiddevil2000]

who needs love nowadays..
most girls just want money,expensive cars,and good sex!!!! lol

[PitsVtec]

LOL! Here are some more...

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. ~ Robert Heinlein

Sex is emotion in motion. ~ Mae West

Sex relieves tension - love causes it. ~ Woody Allen

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. ~ Bob Rubin

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~ Woody Allen

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently. ~ Margaret Smith

Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~ Quentin Crisp

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact. ~ Marlene Dietrich

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~ Author Unknown

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. ~ Butch Hancock

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. ~ Don Schrader

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. ~ Author Unknown

My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live. ~ Erica Jong

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. ~ Mark Twain

We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time. ~ Arthur Hoppe

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~ Woody Allen

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. ~ Billy Joel

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave. ~ Author Unknown

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it. ~ Truman Capote

A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~ Author Unknown

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. ~ Louise Sammons

I think I could fall madly in bed with you. ~ Author Unknown

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't! ~ George Bernard Shaw

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped. ~ Author Unknown

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love. ~ Woody Allen

What they love to yield they would often rather have stolen. Rough seduction delights them, the boldness of near rape is a compliment. ~ Ovid

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. ~ Frederike Ryder

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Author Unknown

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one. ~ Bob Hope

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? ~ Murray Banks

I once knew a woman who offered her honor So I honored her offer And all night long I was on her and off her. ~ Author Unknown

Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. ~ Dorothy Parker

My cock doesn't talk politics. ~ S. Sachs

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets. ~ Author Unknown

A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: "Because everything does." ~ Honor Tracy

Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. ~ Charles Bukowski

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~ Matt Groening

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P.J. O'Rourke

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. ~ Author Unknown

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. ~ Karl Kraus

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. ~ Cary Grant

My message to the businessman of this country when they go abroad on business is that there is one thing above all they can take with them to stop them catching AIDS, and that is the wife. ~ Edwina Currie

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
~ Author Unknown

The common thread that binds nearly all animal species seems to be that males are willing to abandon all sense and decorum, even to risk their lives, in the frantic quest for sex. ~ Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer