Joke Thread -- Post Jokes Here (No images please...)

[JHuff1219]

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A
blonde came in and asked for a 710 .

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is
a 710 ?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the
engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She said that she did not
know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her
to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 .

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and
asked "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here
http://www.hotautoweb.com/cogifs/710.jpg

[SAXON117]

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my
back yard and having a beer along with some conversation with Jesus. This
happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.
I said: "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "People find many ways to demonstrate the love they
have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for
your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is
a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more Señor but for now, I have to finish your lawn ."

[jcblitz]

At a job interview, the HR person asked this question to a female applicant:

Suppose a male co-worker you are standing next to says "Your hair smells very nice today, Amy", would you consider that sexual harrassment?

Amy: "Oh no. Never. It's just a compliment."

HR: "Even if that co-worker is a midget?

[Respect_My_Authorita]

Originally Posted by jcblitz

At a job interview, the HR person asked this question to a female applicant:

Suppose a male co-worker you are standing next to says "Your hair smells very nice today, Amy", would you consider that sexual harrassment?

Amy: "Oh no. Never. It's just a compliment."

HR: "Even if that co-worker is a midget?

[FigNewTon]

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him.

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things
I like most -- cars and men.'

'What's your name?' she asked.

He said, 'B. J. Titsengolf'