Thread: Headlines 2029
View Single Post

Headlines 2029
Old 11-22-2005, 12:04 PM   #1
Taz
Hurricane Katina
 
Taz's Avatar
 
Taz is offline
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Central NJ
Posts: 1,062
Send a message via AIM to Taz
Default Headlines 2029

Headlines from the year 2029!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. ( I just sent it. I didn't write it!)

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

__________________


~No good deed goes unpunished~

Quote:
Originally Posted by DougZ
Tina, you could have just ended that sentence with " I'm the smart one"...but we already knew that.
http://profile.myspace.com/Tazg24
  Reply With Quote